So your best friend is dating your ex and your ex, who doesn’t exactly like you at all, is dating your best friend. Uh-Oh. But don’t worry, there is a way to deal with this in a civil and mature way.
This situation popped up in my life a few months ago when my best friend realised she had feelings for my ex. Now, I definitely don’t see this as ‘breaking the girl code’ because she and my ex have been friends for a long time and they are really cute together (is that weird for me to think that? haha).
Anyway, my ex and i broke up march last year and to put it simply, it didn’t end with us shaking hands and walking away as unlikely friends. There was A LOT of hurt on both sides. After that, we’d had very little to do with each other until my best friend and I started hanging out more which resulted in seeing him more.
And, as you can imagine, things got a bit tense and my best friend ended up being caught in the middle of a silent war. Only recently I’ve discovered why he holds such a strong grudge against me and now, it’s just plain awkward. I couldn’t speak my mind around him because I was scared he would judge me or make fun of me behind my back (because THAT’S never happened before *cough cough*).
But, I realised, the only way to keep the peace and to make life a little easier on my best friend, my ex and myself was to shut up and suck it up. When you’re around them, don’t bring up anything that will cause tension or create drama. I tell myself that “Your best friend is going out with this guy, and they’re happy, so why jeopardise that for the sake of a good come back?”. Whatever you do, don’t try to avoid bumping into them when they’re together because then that’s going to make your friend feel like she has to pick sides and that’s going to stress her out.
Now obviously these kind of situation involve a horrendous amount of factors contributing to the issue at hand so this technique may or may not work for you, but hopefully you can alter it and twist it in a way that suits your needs.
It took me a long time to get over that break up and while this may take some sacrificing of my pride, it’s worth it to make it easier on my best friend because whatever went down between my ex and I is history and it should stay that way. Who knows, maybe one day we’ll even be able to hold a conversation as friends.
I hope this helps some of you who are having difficulty with this kind of problem! If you liked this post then click the follow button 🙂 x